Blessed Easter!

So Lent is finally over. It is finally Easter! BLESSED EASTER!

Somehow it felt better this year. In this struggle to understand my religion, and to understand myself, somehow I found joy in Lent, and greater joy in Easter.

As I ponder upon what were my weak points, and what was the hardest thing to do during lent, I realized that it was not the fasting that was hard, it was not even challenging to abstain from alcohol, it was easy to abstain from meat throughout the 40 days, it was easy not to lose my temper (been praying for this for years). The hardest part of Lent was to be able to speak to my Lord, to be still to pray. 

With all that was going on in my life, my mind is very much clouded and crowded. Whenever I tried to pray, my mind will wonder off, worrying about something else. Honestly, I couldn’t even say the Lord’s Prayer whole heartedly, nor recite Hail Mary without my mind wondering off and interrupting my attempt to pray. I am often lost for words. I could not find the right/appropriate words to say. My tongue was numb.

Yes, I do like to hear my friends and faith formations leaders pray. It comes out so naturally from their lips, and I can feel the honesty from their heart. And yes I do aspire to be able to be more prayerful like them. I want to go beyond “I love you Lord, you know what is in my heart, grant them according to Your will. Thank you, amen.” I want to be able to talk to Him again. Most of all, I want to hear Him speak to me.

Though Lent is over, and Easter is here, my frozen tongue is somewhat, still frozen. But I believe, if I push myself to meditate, to focus, to not let my mind wonder, I will be able to speak to Him, and hear Him speak to me. Times like this I realize why we memorize the Lord’s Prayer; people may argue that reciting is not praying, but I tell you, if reciting is the only thing you can do, then just do it. He hears our little cries, and no He does not discriminate between prayers. I believe that we just have to be sincere to the words we utter. I for one rediscovered the humbling beauty of the Lord’s Prayer in these times of great difficulty.

Well, my point is, no matter how far we feel from the church or our religion, our Lord is never too far for us to reach; no matter how hard it is for us to pray, to make our lips utter sincere words, our Lord listens. He is never too far for us to call out His name and be comforted in His grace.

As life goes on, I’d like to request that you pray with me and for me, that I will be able to speak to and listen to my lover Lord Jesus Christ.

Teach me Lord to pray. Amen.